If It’s Not Hell Yes, It’s No

Are you a people pleaser? I know I used to be and still have a tendency to be that way. I think it is part of my caring nature and ultimately what made me a great nurse. I want others to be happy and that sometimes would mean I would sacrifice my own happiness for other’s happiness. While seeing others happy made me feel good, deep down I was not doing myself any favors.

That people pleasing mentality meant that I was saying yes to things when I really wanted to say no. Over time and a whole lot of effort and retraining I learned that it really is only me looking out for me. As cliché as it sounds, life is short and I realized that I wanted to be happy and that meant some hard lines in the sand. I left a career that I was proud of and good at to raise Elijah. I now know for 100% certainty that that was the best thing I could have done for myself and for him, but at the time it was scary. I think that decision was the first step in truly learning that if it isn’t hell yes, it’s no.

When it comes to big decisions that will substantially impact your life if it doesn’t excite you to the point of when you talk about it your voice raises, your heart speeds up, and you can’t stop smiling, then you really should give a long hard look at it. Will some of those no’s disappoint others? Absolutely. At the end of the day we are given one life to live so make it the best life possible. I never want you to look back and wish you had done it differently.

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